Here is One for All You Actors Out There

Diana told me to blog about the process of auditioning.  And about my day.  And she said to talk about all the negative, negative, negative stuff, and then end it with a positive.  So here we go....this might be a little long.

I got into this city at the very end of of August, pretty much dropped off my stuff, and then went home to Montrose South Dakota for my dear friend Molly's wedding.  I came back to Chi-town, found a job so I could pay rent, got some furniture and then left again for my dear friend Emily's wedding!  This trip I took more time and visited my brother and grandparents on the Western side of the state.  I was in no hurry to come back, the family time and relaxation was just too great.   After taking all the personal time I needed, I came back and was ready to start auditioning!

I submitted my headshot and resume to every audition possible.  Unfortunately, I didn't get many invitations.  My first actual audition was at the very beginning of October.  It was for an original play festival.  I felt ready, prepared, and like this was the perfect audition for me because they needed lots of actors and were looking for any type.  The audition was pretty close to our apartment, so I picked the perfect outfit, great shoes, got my headshots all nicely stapled to my resume, and rode my bike there.  I arrived early and felt completely confident in the monologue I had chosen.  I felt a little nervous but was actually more excited, this was my first Chicago audition!  I sat there waiting, listening to everyone audition before me.  Then it was my turn.  I was determined to be memorable.  In my head I said, "I am talented, so if I can be memorable, then I will be fine."  I introduced myself, my monologue, took a breath, and was off.  Here is what is going through my head during this time.

"Wow, that was an awkward intro. Usually I say my name more clearly.  What am I doing with my hands?  I should have started the monologue with movement.  Am I resolving all my cycles? Stop slapping your legs Whitney.  Hmmm, that part got a laugh last time I did this.  They haven't laughed once.  Oh, well that was a courtesy laugh if I've ever heard one.  Maybe this monologue isn't funny.  But at school juries everyone was cracking up.  Maybe it's only funny if you know me.  Oh no!  What if all my monologues aren't good and I have to fine a bunch more.  Relax. Breathe. Wow, you are blowing it right now."

I could go on and on, but basically I kept trying harder and harder as the monologue went on.  Forcing it and begging them to laugh.  All my pent up/excited/nervous energy didn't only hit the back wall of the theatre, it crashed through, went out the lobby, and landed in the store across the street.  I was out of control!  They politely said thank you and that they didn't need to see anything else.

BLEW IT!

Looking back now, I can laugh.  That was ridiculous and it was silly of me to build up that audition.  I could go into detail about all the auditions I have been on, but let me try to shorten this up.  Since then I have submitted myself for a TON of auditions (we are talking between 20 and 30 in one month, maybe even more, I stopped counting).  Out of all those submissions I have been on eight auditions.  Each one has presented it's own challenges including getting stuck in an elevator, auditioning with my "body movement" instead of words, and walking around parts of this city at night that I don't plan on visiting ever again.  I have auditioned for three musicals, a few workshopped pieces, and two "theme park" type auditions.   I even auditioned for 50 Shades of Gray the Musical (sometimes when God closes a door, it's for a good reason).   But no callbacks.  That is, till today.

Today I had an audition for the Arc theatre, which is a professional theatre founded by a group of Depaul University graduates.  Here is an ironic fact: When I was a junior in highschool, I decided that I wanted to go to Depaul for theatre and after mailing in an application, they wouldn't even see me for an audition, saying that I didn't have the experience they were looking for in their students.  ANYWAY, this audition went very well.  I did two pieces that I have been working on for a long time and are completely contrasting.  They laughed all the way through my comedic piece and were sitting on the edge of their seat for my Shakespeare.  When I was finished I said thank you.  Three people were watching, and they all commented.   "Wow, that was very good, well done"   "I'm so glad we got to see your talent today, I'm very impressed" and "Good audition.  Really, that was good."  Although a few other  auditions have gone well and I did just fine on my monologues, this was the first time I didn't get the generic "Thanks, we will be in touch" line.  They weren't being polite, they were being genuine.  I may not get cast, I may not even get a callback for whatever reason.  But that's okay with me, because I had an awesome audition.  I know it and they know it.  so.....HA!  EAT THAT DEPAUL!!!!

After that audition, I had to rush to another audition.  I did the same monologues, they went just as well, and I got a callback right there on the spot!  They asked if I could stay for the callback which would be starting in about an hour.  It felt so good to read a scene.  I was so spoiled in grad school, getting to act everyday whether I liked it or not.  My peeps at Regent, if you are reading this...soak it up baby.   I was called-backed for the main role, Anita Loose.  This was a fun audition because she is a sharp, quick-tongued, savvy buisness women type. The play follows her through her 20s, 30s, and 40s.  This is pretty much the opposite of everything that I have been told about my "type" but as my amazing roommate has reminded me, that is why we are actors.  There were three rounds, and I stuck around till the end.  People were let go through the day, and it ended up being between me and two other girls.  Fingers crossed!  But even if it doesn't happen, it's fun to have had such a good day.

Here is a quick summary of lessons that I am being reminded of.  Or reminders that are good lessons. Whichever way you look at it.

1.  This is tough.  I'm not talking about the rejection or the work or preparation.  I'm saying it is physically exhausting to run around this city to all these auditions, which usually land on the same day during the week.  It is stressful dealing with traffic, the public transportation, and audition rooms that are on the seventh floor of a building that is more of a maze than a classroom building!  I was warned that rejection is hard and I have to have a thick skin.  Okay whatever!  Got that part!  Where was the lesson about my blistered feet and aching back and stress about being on time when I am stuck in the elevator?!?!  All I'm saying is that someday, I'm gonna need a limo.  Okay, maybe not a limo, but a personal driver at the very least.

2.  There are all different types of people, but still, everybody looks just like you.  I know that I am not unique looking.  I have a sweet face, plain brown hair, and the average "short girl" figure.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.  I love myself!  But, every time I walk into an audition and see the group of girls that look just like me...I have to smile (and go sit by the blondes).

3. This audition will not change my life.  An audition is just me doing my job.  I don't put pressure on myself to have the very best day ever at my day job.  So why put so much pressure on myself to have the very best audition ever?  That's silly.  I have done my homework, I'm responsible, I'm talented. So either that's good enough or it's not.  Either way, I'm going to wake up and do the same thing tomorrow.  And I have a lot more fun when I don't put life or death stakes on these auditions.

4.  A good support system is a must!  I come home to the cutest puppy in the world and a friend that makes me laugh till I cry.  I'm so lucky.  I'm also very blessed to have parents who listen to my long stories and complaints and tears and then encourage me to go conquer the world tomorrow.  They are the best.  THANK GOD!

5.  God's time is the best time.  I haven't been in the city that long.  And I haven't been auditioning for very long at all.  I expected this transition to take months, and I didn't expect the perfect role to land in my lap right away.  However, patience has never been a virtue of mine.  I want what I want and I want it now!   And on top of all that I want SO MUCH!  But God whispers wait.  He says my time will come and that His plans are better than anything I have in mind.  And then He says to smile...so I do. :-)